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# Be Proactive
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The goal of being proactive is to reduce your circle of concern while expanding your circle of influence.
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- Paradigm shifts.
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- Radical changes.
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```mermaid
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flowchart LR
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E[Environment]-->IP
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G[Genes]-->IP
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IP[Environmental Influenced Paradigms]
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YP[Your Personal Paradigms]
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B[Behaviors]
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IP-->|Filtered by beliefs|YP-->B
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```
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## Circle of concern
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- Invisible Gun
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- Time - 24 hours in a day
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- When did time start stressing me out?
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- Reduced freedoms - Was I more free when I was in Toronto? Less time than when I was at my parents?
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- Dependents
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- Family
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- Pets
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- Partner
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## Terms
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- Output - The amount of energy that you can put into an action.
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- Zone - A short lived period of peak performance that is enabled when necessary conditions are met.
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- Prime - A span of time of high perfomance that is enabled when necessary conditions are met.
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# Circle of Concern
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responsibility creep
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limitations
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- time consumers
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- energy constraints
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- entropy
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# Well Being
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- Complaint count
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- negate count
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- Respect for self
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## Social Life
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- Talking to people from Toronto.
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- I only really bother associating with people if I am interacting with them in real life so associating with people in Canada is becoming more and mor difficult.
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- My parents only really call when they are having tech issues but they shouldn't be calling me because they have my siblings to handle those issues.
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- Dexter is not my issue.
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- I will see my friends again sometime in the future.
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## Relationship
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- Our relationship
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- Not affectionate, does not feel like either of us want to be touched.
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- Bad behaviors
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- I do not think you saying that you want to smash your head into a wall is helpful
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- My bad behaviors
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- observing behaviour but not taking accountability for it
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- Not understanding and empathetic.
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- Has a lot to do with my life paradigms and not giving a shit.
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- Niko
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- Hard to see him as not a chore.
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- Try to find ways to incorporate his chores into my daily life more seamlessly.
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- Work
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- Work, home chores, and all life struggles should be understood as part of daily life and accepted as things to do. If you cannot avoid having to do these things you might as well enjoy them.
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- Even before Niko I had little capacity.
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- **Relationship Mismatches**
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- Difference in expectations
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- Priorities?
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- Levels of urgency and importance.
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- Each other's wants and our wants
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- Have less wants and needs.
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- Humor.
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- Energy level clashings.
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- Habit of putting things away
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- Not picking up after outselves / putting things away immediately but you do not
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- Noting small things
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- Public
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- Not going to order things or accompanying to order
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- Being more discrete in public?
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- Merging 2 peoples lives, merge conflicts
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- Don’t find the same things fun?
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# Think with the end in mind
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- What is purpose?
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- What are the right things to spend attention/time on?
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- What's my personal mission statement?
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- What are my goals?
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- Keep your eyes on the prize.
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## How I Want to Live My Life
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- Able to make decisions out of love and not fear.
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- Being able to do something for the sake of doing. Liking for the sake of liking.
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## Likes
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- Movement.
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- A relaxed environment.
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## Dislikes
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- Uncomfortable environments.
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- _Wasting time_, friction, or distractions.
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## What is meaningful to me?
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- Being able to live a sustainable lifestyle:
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- Having surplus capacity for flexibility and freedom.
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- Being able to respect my own time and energy.
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- Being able to live with flexibility and freedom:
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- Freedom to do the things I want to do
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- Doing things I want when I want
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- Being able to exercise hobbies to hearts content.
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- Being able to do what I want when I want to.
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- Being able to live comfortably:
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- Living healthy.
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- Living in comfort.
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- Being able to enjoy the day to day.
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- Being able to live a life worth living:
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- Able to live an analyzed life.
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- Able to work towards a meaningful goal.
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- Being in control of what I'm doing.
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- Relations
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- Meaningful relationships
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- Having a positive impact:
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- Environmental
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- Community
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- Social
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- Mentoring - Seeing people's lives improve/grow.
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- Providing something for future generation
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- Having a balanced life for myself.
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- Goldilocks Zone
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- Lagom - Just the right amount, not too much, not too little.
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- Hygge - A cozy quality that makes a person feel content and comfortable.
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- Perfect balance
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- Developing personal mission statement
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- Routine (Hybrid)
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## Goals
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- Building a small business.
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## Life Roles
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### My roles in life
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- [Partner](./relationship-core-values.md)
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- Software Developer
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- Pet owner
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- Friend
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### What it means to be good at my role?
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- Responsible/Dependable
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- Doing what I want when I want. Not necessarily what I am doing that is more important, more so the fact that I want to do it or that it is interesting at the moment to me.
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- doing something short for the feel of doing even if you do not have enough time.
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# First Things First
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- Moving activities from circle of concern to circle of influence.
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- Knowing when to stop.
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- What makes a successful week/day?
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# Q2 Positive - Everyday Recovery/Renewal
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- Learn - Do something to learn.
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- Social - Do something to connect socially.
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- Health - Do something for your health.
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- Movement - Do something to move
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- Help - Do something to help someone.
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- Relax - Do something to relax. Activities that help you rest or recover.
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Balancing Act
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Health & body
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Learning & growth
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Joy & fun
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Mindfulness & reflection
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Connection & relationships
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Life Maintenance
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Progress & Purpose
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Conditions
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- health
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- frameworks
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- beliefs
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- ideologies
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Career->Finances->Expense
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Expenses:
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- Living
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- Leisure
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- Utility
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```mermaid
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---
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config:
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look: handDrawn
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theme: neutral
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---
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flowchart LR
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Action-->Time-->Energy-->Motivation-->R -->Output
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subgraph R[Resources]
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Money
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Space
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end
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```
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## Environments
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```mermaid
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---
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config:
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look: handDrawn
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theme: neutral
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---
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flowchart TD
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subgraph E1[Social Environment]
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Neighborhood
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Family
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Friends
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Coworkers
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Relationship
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E11[Social Media]
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Community
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end
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subgraph E2[Physical Environment]
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E21[Homeliving space]
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E22[Workspace]
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School
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E24[Public space]
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E25[Neighborhood and city]
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E26[Climate and weather]
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end
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subgraph E3[Infrastructural Environment]
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Societal
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Cultural
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Legal
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Educational
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Language
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Media
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end
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subgraph E4[Physiological Environment]
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E41[Health/Fitness Condition]
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E42[Psychological Condition]
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E43[Beliefs]
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E44[Mindsets]
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E45[Thoughts]
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E46[Behavioral Patters]
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end
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```
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## Decision Diagram
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```mermaid
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flowchart TD
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T --> R
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subgraph R[Recovery/Renewal]
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end
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T[Tired]
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X[asdfa]
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```
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@@ -0,0 +1,38 @@
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# Life Refactor
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- [Be Proactive](./be-proactive.md)
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- [Circle of Concern](./circle-of-concern)
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- [[my-feelings]]
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- [Think with the end in mind](./end-in-mind.md)
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- [First things first](./first-thing-first.md)
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## Current
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- Stress out about things less, doing things at my own pace.
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- Timeblocking
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- Safeguard time, maintain surplus and capacity.
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- Time blocking for things that I care about
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- Time blocking for recovery.
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# Life Bubbles
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- Self-care
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- Regulating stress and emotions
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- Time for rest and reflection
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- Physical
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- Mental
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- Spiritual
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- Social/emotional
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- Social
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- Finance
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- Financial independence - take care of myself
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- Career
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- Responsabilities
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- Career development
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- Professional boundaries
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- Social
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- Family
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- Friends
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- Community
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- Romantic relationship
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- Came to watch us be in our bubbles?
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@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
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# Playlist Refactor
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- hip hop -> Freedom
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@@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
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# Relationship Core Values
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- Being true to ourselves.
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- Do things out of love and not fear.
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- It's about us.
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- Relationship Oriented
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- Being more supportive.
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- Adapting to each other.
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- Not letting each other rot!
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- Following up when we are upset.
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- Considering each other when takings actions.
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- Making plans for the both of us.
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