84 lines
3.6 KiB
Markdown
84 lines
3.6 KiB
Markdown
# My Feelings
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I came to this country for our relationship, to see where it goes. I did not necessarily come to become Swedish, take SFI, being a dog owner has been nice but not my goal. I am here for us but to do that I must be able to make sure that I am taking care of myself as well meaning taking breaks when I am burning out. Knowing when I am taking a bit more than I can chew, etc, etc...
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To grow together, grow as a person. Not necessarily for fun because I already found fun in Canada.
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- Even with all other social interactions gone I cannot seem to give my family the attention/support that they need.
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- Social interactions
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- Connecting better
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- Not able to find time to connect with people.
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- Not finding time to talk about things properly
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- Selective on what times we spend together
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- Increased isolation
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- Bad outlooks on life
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- If I am getting my license I don’t want expectations to do anything else for the day.
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- Pessimism.
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- Not finding things exciting.
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- Not a celebratory person, ie don't care about celebrating my birthday, there are plenty of days that I can enjoy just as much or more.
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- Gift giving does not mean much to me.
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- Capacity
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- Being able to spend time how I want.
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- Lots of outlets I can enjoy but kitchen chores and work seem to be the only ones feasible
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- Feeling the freedom to go to work cafes.
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- To go to work cafes I need the time and availability, ie walking there and not being stressed coming back. Must also feel 'productive' being there?
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- Not enough recovery time
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- Taking administrative action.
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- Doing things vs thinking about things
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- 2025 was a difficult year in many ways for me.
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- Frictions upon leaving.
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- take dog out immediately met with extra conditions before leaving
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- Bring hat that I was okay with not bringing
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- fixing loop for bottle
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- jacket
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- Find phone
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- Initially wanted to leave together, now we are in the same situation that we were in the beginning
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- Packing a backpack
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- cable
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- Having hobbies eats your time
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- Bad outlooks - life is a chore
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- Lots of options to do things but blocked by responsibilities.
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Can’t do things how/when I want to do it
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- Night Time
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- Night time walks can ruin nighttime sleep feeling.
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- All 'fun things' are during the day time leaving only the activity of coding at night.
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- Very different thinking
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- I like quick decisions for small things
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- Only do things that are high priority or that I am only capable of doing
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## Frictions
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- Wanting to be able to just do simple things without friction.
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- Tiring changing paradigms
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- Asking specific time of when task will be done causing pressure and not the ask about the specific task
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- Emotionally draining each other.
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- Mismatch in what we care about.
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- How we feel about holidays.
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- How we feel about everyday tasks.
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- Priorities seem wrong at times. Video gaming/television > Niko > chores
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- Thought friction
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- Reasonable vs unreasonable requests?
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## Annoyances
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- Not meeting in the middle.
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- I'll cook you clean?
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- Expressing opinion/hungry/tired
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- Being able to sit in feelings and be upset.
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- Not being able to just be myself
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- Responding with more interest.
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- Being happy when I am not.
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- Being in the way?
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- Bothered by small things ie turning off lights. Feels like I can’t do anything
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- Quiet periods - Too early, too late, in a meeting, don't want noise.
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- Bubble respect
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- Cannot ask too many questions in short period of time?
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- Cannot set boundaries
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- Doing things if you can?? I did not want to move a step aside for Kristina walking Niko
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## Incapabilities
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- Being able to read the room and act accordingly.
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